How to Become a Mom without Losing Your Identity

I often get people asking me how I find the time for myself while raising a toddler, working full time, taking care of a home, and spending time with my husband, family and friends.

Truth is, it isn’t always as easy as it looks. And often, I don’t feel like I have the time to do it all. I still feel all of those normal feelings like guilt, or feeling like I should be doing something else. So how do I do it?

I make myself a priority! This is how I do it, it’s that simple. I make sure regardless of everything else and all the responsibilities I have, I take care of me! Our society is fortunately starting to recognise the importance of mom’s having breaks, and doing things for themselves, however; there is still a big misconception by some that if mom’s are doing things for themselves, going away, doing anything other than being with their children, they are selfish. Β This doesn’t always come from external judgements either, we can be our own worst critics. What is the deal with that! We need to allow ourselves the permission to want it and then do whatever we need to do to make it happen!

Just a few of the things that I LOVE doing that I have never been OK with giving up. (Note: All of these photos were taken by a person who is a mother, and a damn good one!) πŸ™‚

 

  1. Spending time with my girlfriends
  2. Having alone time- sometimes, in the middle of the day on the weekend, I take a shower, because that non routine, spontaneous shower makes me feel like I am not tied to a mini person’s beck and call
  3. Working out- a HUGE outlet for me, and I crave the time to do it.
  4. Yoga- I put this on a separate line from working out, because although it is being active, yoga is so much more than that. I feel so calm, centred, balanced and powerful when I practice yoga. It takes a lot of discipline to be able to quiet your mind and be present in your practice. And I always come out clearer.
  5. Date nights- (this one involves the hubby, so we use friends and family for this πŸ™‚ ) But I honestly go crazy if we don’t have time to connect and spend quality time. This is a MUST for me.
  6. The occasional manicure, shopping trip, or lunch date- SOLO of course πŸ™‚
  7. Going to concerts!
  8. Reading- as my last post would attest to, I love reading.
  9. Actin’ a fool- guys you should try it. Honestly, sometimes its just necessary. Act like you aren’t a parent. Get waaay too drunk, sing super loudly and obnoxiously, eat 2 donuts back to back because you can, laugh alot, be THAT girl (you know the one that every knows about at a gathering because they can be heard anywhere), be the only one dancing with the worst dance moves, crack really bad jokes and laugh at them, dance in the driveway in the middle of winter.. with no shoes on.. whatever it is… stop taking yourself to seriously!

yoga

I have actually had people who are not moms say to me, “You make me less worried about having kids and losing myself because you haven’t lost yourself and you still do things for you!” To me, that’s a huge compliment. I want mom’s and women out there everywhere to realise that in order to give to all the facets of your life and remain happy and balanced, you need to do things that keep your cup filled!

I have an amazing husband who whenever I say to him that I need some me time, he does his best to make sure it happens. Most partners would be happy to take the reigns for a while if you want to do you- you just need to ask! Same goes for family… and friends. I am so fortunate to have family close by, but if I didn’t, I have friends that would be happy to hang with Clara for an hour or two while I got my nails done, got a workout in, or just sat it peace at a coffee shop. Guaranteed you have someone that would help you too. You just need to ask! That’s the key- making your needs known and putting yourself first.

Love yourself! Believe that you are worthy of the time to do things that you enjoy. You were a whole person of your own before you became someone’s mom, and that person needs to be acknowledged and taken care of. Kill the stigma that your life ends after you have kids, it doesn’t have to be that way!

I can assure you, doing these things will keep you happy, it will give you tons more patience, and it will allow you to give the best version of yourself to your babies.

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What are you going to make time to do for yourself?

 

Hugs and Kisses,

Andrea

3 thoughts on “How to Become a Mom without Losing Your Identity

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